There are plenty of games out there that let you get married, and most of the ones I can think of off the top of my head let you do so in your own time so you can wait until you’re good and ready.
But Final Fantasy XV is a different beast altogether. In this game, the very first thing Noctis is asked to do is to simply travel to a city called Altissa to marry his childhood crush, Lunafreya. You will then spend the next — oh, I don’t know — 35 hours or so doing everything but that.
The game’s beginning portion unfolds like a road trip movie, with Noctis and three buds driving across the desert, meeting new people, getting reacquainted with old friends, and having fun.
You’ll be given the keys to Noctis’ daddy’s tricked-out ride.
You’ll travel to exotic locations and see the sights.
You’ll stay in ludicrously overpriced beachside resorts.
You’ll take selfies with your best friends.
You’ll play smartphone games at rest areas.
You’ll go camping and have cookouts.
You’ll wax poetic about the open road.
You’ll stop for food at roadside diners.
You’ll stomp through puddles like a three-year-old.
You’ll chat on the phone with girls who are very much not Noctis’ fiancee.
You’ll go fishing at every opportunity (seriously, Noctis can’t get enough!)
You’ll do battle with fearsome mechs.
You’ll hang out on benches with alcoholic mascot statues.
You’ll toil under the hot sun to grow carrots.
You’ll satisfy late-night cravings for cup noodles.
You’ll race chocobos for prizes.
You’ll try on amazing outfits.
You’ll visit the tombs of your ancestors.
You’ll play a pinball-like game called Justice Monsters Five.
You’ll strike poses in foreign markets.
You’ll hunt vicious monsters.
You’ll collect moogle dolls and cactuar figurines.
You’ll sing ballads under the stars.
You’ll enjoy great classics of literature.
And very little of this has anything to do with getting married.
When you think about it, the game’s first half is really about the longest bachelor party in history.
And yes, I know the second half is something else entirely, but the best parts of Final Fantasy XV are when you’re procrastinating on tying the knot. And, in some strange way, that’s what makes the game special.
Whether you love marriage, hate it, or are completely neutral toward it, there’s something deeply satisfying about being able to just say, “maybe later” in the virtual world and have a grand adventure with your bros until you’re truly ready to say your vows.
LMAO!!!