Nintendo’s Amiibo Figures Have Turned Me into Something I’m Not Proud Of

Amiibo - Samus, Captain Falcon, and Josh

When the Skylanders collectible fad blew up, I remained mostly unaffected by it, and when the Disney Infinity thing happened, I ignored it for the most part. (I may have spent a lot of time contemplating the Rocket Raccoon and Groot figures, but I haven’t given in to the temptation to buy any quite yet.) But then Nintendo launched a fresh iteration of Super Smash Bros. and a corresponding line-up of amiibo figurines, and I dove headfirst into this video game-related collectible thing.

Typically, I spend the weekend before Christmas — the most godawful weekend for shopping — hiding inside, sipping a marshmallow mocha, and playing video games. I know better than to get involved in rat races around frozen Minneapolis in search of overpriced knickknacks. This year, however, I spent the weekend hopping between suburbs, hitting every GameStop, Best Buy, Target, and Toys R Us I could think of in an attempt to fill the gaps in my amiibo collection.

I even went to Walmart. I never go to Walmart, because it’s a terrible place to be anytime ever and I try to not support them financially unless I absolutely can’t avoid it. Or unless I need to track down a rare amiibo figure, apparently.

Amiibo - Captain Falcon and Star Fox

I won’t judge you if you happen to be a Walmart regular, but my experience in that store was not a pleasant one. The aisles were packed, people were shouting at each other, and racks of merchandise were literally falling over as I walked past them. At one point, I saw a guy knock over some shelving, and it spontaneously burst into flames as it hit the ground. (Admittedly, that last sentence is a lie, but the rest of the things I’ve mentioned are absolutely true.)

I’m pretty sure I am done with Walmart for good this time, though there are still some amiibo figures I’m trying to track down. And I can’t really put a limit on the things I’ll let myself do in order to acquire a rare Amiibo. Whenever I draw a thick, black line to separate myself from the behavior I consider unacceptable, I find myself crossing it anyway.

This isn’t healthy. This is addict behavior.

Damn it, Nintendo, I’ve got an addiction, and I’m really not proud of what I’m turning into.