Justice League: The Snyder Cut Is Official; There Is No Turning Back and Also Nothing Left to Live For

Justice League: The Snyder Cut

While engaging with my partner in a random conversation, I decided to quickly check my phone due to some indescribable, innate sensation that the world had become somehow different. Upon seeing one headline in particular, I let out and audible gasp and immediately cut the conversation short. I then put on my headphones and prepared to step away from the reality I had known for the last 39 years, into a new reality where I will spend the rest of my life.

For you see, the trailer for the Snyder Cut of Justice League had finally been revealed, and all was now right in the world. Famine? Gone. Homelessness? Eradicated. Disparages between ethnic groups, sexes, creeds, and religions? All a thing of the past.

The appearance of this trailer had finally cemented the fact that the much-fabled Snyder cut not only existed, but that it was in fact the Snyder-est cut imaginable. Never before had a cut of Justice League been so Snyder, and never again will we have to be content with a cut of the Justice League that is anything less than Snyderly.

And for a few brief moments, as I watched that trailer… the world was Snyder again. And all of the Snyders could finally Snyder in Snyder-son, confident that Snyder is, in fact, Snyder.

In all seriousness, though, I had to double check to make sure this wasn’t some silly fan edit. Could they not have found the hokeyest possible song to score this to? And although this looks like a more dynamic and possibly more engaging version of Justice League, this movie will still mostly be the same piece of garbage it always was. So take all of this with a grain of salt.

Unless, of course, you happen to be one of the few/many that actually see this as the second coming. Then nothing I say will even matter to you. In which case, SNYDER CUT!!!!

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